Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Roses in winter--2 June updates

Commercials for Valentine's Day gifts are getting more frequent, and I have to remark about the racket of selling rose bouquets for the occasion, based on these commercials. One definitely gets the impression that the main reason for buying them and giving them to someone female necessarily causes jealousy and makes other men look bad.  Really?

Somebody on Madison Avenue thinks these are good selling points to a male demographic, which leaves a person with a low opinion of the male mind, actually.  What woman is going to pay a twenty-spot (or upwards) for roses to give to a guy to make other guys jealous or to make other women "look pretty bad", hm?

Youngsters in high school are way ahead of this game, given the reports by high school gals of how a hallway full of lockers cause the air nearby to reek of Axe, and that's for the entire school year.

Image via Comedy Central on Facebook--veritas and a half.
My guess is that the vendors of roses in February are counting on insanity, because in the past, appealing to insanity has been a great marketing strategy.

I note with interest that the progress of the times, progress resulting in taking sexual harassment more seriously than in the past (and well we should, as a society), has also made it necessary to return to the straitlaced old Victorian times when it comes to making discreet, civilized indications that a certain special someone has been given permission to show signs of interest, thereby returning us to the age of flower language.  To wit:



But---ALL roses?  A little nosegay of Forget-Me-Nots used to be acceptable, back in the day, because of the message their name conveyed--but when they were in season, not in the middle of winter.  Besides, this USA TODAY display doesn't agree with the definitions compared to days of yore.  There's no doubt in my mind that rose vendors are behind this.  They've already imported a large inventory of roses from somewhere and expect to clear inventory by February 14.

In a previous post I mentioned friends going through travails, one of them being a young adult going through the heartbreak of a romantic break up, and in private I offered the following consolation:  women have a saying about men who, after a period of time, prove to be unsuitable: "Before you find your Prince Charming, you have to kiss a lot of frogs".  Men, the same principle holds true for you, too, and consider how likely it is that you might be intending to spend a bundle of cash on roses you're going to give to a frog.  Think about that, and then give things more time--and then consider the other days of the year that your lady would like to feel appreciated.

And then consider how fortunate my young friend was in not marrying the frog.  Something to think about.





Late June UPDATE...plus another update: This seems to be warranted at this time not just because of the recent hits on this topic but also because of somebody amorous from a rather distant past came to visit on his way to elsewhere, just interested in catching up on stuff not suitable for posting on Facebook. Was quite honest with my current guy about what the deal was, left it to him to choose whether to go to the meeting or not, and he went.

The guy from the past was, at the time we were dating, a recent divorcee and still had a lot of issues to work through. That ex-wife was always the "elephant in the room".  Ya, before a gal finds her prince charming, she's gotta kiss a lot of frogs and we mutually agreed that "us" didn't work.  Recently, he told me that he married again...and divorced again...so there you have it--what happened worked out for the better, from my point of view, at least.

From his point of view, I'm not so sure--I know that look on him when I see it. Most people consider the "shoulda woulda coulda" about what would have happened if things were done differently, but in the time travel department, that involves branching off to a parallel universe, and it's always the risk that the parallel universe turns into a dead-end pocket universe, too.  In terms of healing from a bad life experience, time is required even so, and it's how a person heals which determines which universe that person ultimately lives the rest of his/her life in.

Rebound dating doesn't have a great rate of success, and that's statistically speaking.  A person who is  still hurting from the last amorous adventure isn't going to be suitably ready for the next one for quite some time, no matter how ready the other person involved is. Too much unresolved stuff remains to be sorted out first.

But thanks for the visit anyway, fella.  Stuff that happens in this department is very real regardless of whether or not stuff works out ultimately as time goes by.

Time.

Being in a relationship of whatever sort doesn't mean you're dead, either. Stuff happens, and it's very real, and whether it's awkward or not, the other chooses to chaperone anyway.  That's human biology for ya, and that's why there's an Appalachian Trail in Argentina. But what defines a human being apart from other animals is the making of choices regardless, and some human beings do better at that than others, especially those others in political office.  Or, in days of yore, traveling salesmen.

When something very real happens, or happened, dealing with it is just dealing with reality, and reality definitely was very really dealt with in this case, and it's not that I don't think that my guy as of now doesn't trust me.  People of a certain age always have some kind of history and you can't find one that doesn't. Trust is the issue more than anything else, and it's the choice to keep it or betray it is what's at issue, and it ain't like he's dead, either.  I for one won't betray a trust.  Once that's broken, there's no repair.

Nonetheless, when one reaches a certain age and something real happens in spite of whatever, it's a time of life to celebrate it regardless of the circumstances. It means there are still things in life one can appreciate long after we've been relegated to the nursing home, and the same can be said of all my near, dear friends too.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

There's a noteworthy quotation at the end of the Amy Pond series of Doctor Who...

"We're all stories in the end.  Just make it a good one, eh?"

Really--life is too short to do otherwise.


Second UPDATE: I just heard that a friend went through the joyous experience of finding a special someone and we who are his friends are joyous with him.  Love takes many forms and when one is in a happy relationship already, that person can care greatly about a lot of other people too--and those are the people who make a big difference to you. It matters to you a lot when they're not happy; it matters a great deal to you when they're in pain, and it matters much to you when they're upset, and you want to make things better even if all you have to offer is just a hug. People you really want to keep in your life rather than be without. People you care about are the people you love.  All of them.

I didn't mention this earlier, but will now--there's one special case of where I, rightly or wrongly, determined that I was the cause of consternation, that I was the problem, and decided that extracting myself from that was best. This doesn't have to necessarily be the end of that matter, though; it's something that just couldn't continue on that particular course. I'm open to a change of course, though, but the ball isn't presently in my court, so to speak. Nothing further can be done on my side of that equation, but in a situation like this, I'm still open to negotiations. I rarely burn bridges completely.








Okay, there's a question about my own status.  Hey--that's a little too personal for the Internet, don'tcha think?

Let me put it this way: marriage is a religio-social construct and I'm an atheist, so put those 2 and 2s together.  The whole intention of that institution, in the first place, was to keep track of progeny for the purpose of inheritance of property in a time when women and children were both considered to be the chattel property of the male.  You may safely conclude that I've always been too smart for that shit.

But that doesn't mean that I haven't found Prince Charming.  Like I said to the guys on FB who were fighting over me even though they've not seen what I look like: I'm spoken for, warts and all; finding somebody who'll take on all the warts is more difficult than finding a needle in a truckload of hay--especially true for those who have more than their fair share of warts.

It's worth mentioning that the guys who were fighting over me, sight unseen, was because they found out that I actually like to climb radio towers and I can cook, too. Yeah, I feel used, ha.  But so would any other woman who gets handed flowers and proclamations of love only because of the male's anticipated prospects of housekeeping that the male would prefer to avoid.  Yeah--like I said, I'm too smart for that shit.



In honor of VD on the occasion of VD, here's Tom Lehrer...





"There's a rose in the fisted glove...the eagle flies with the dove...if you can't be with the one you love...love the one you're with."--Crosby, Stills & Nash

Interesting quote from one of Mark Twain's letters came down the FB pike a few minutes ago..."Buffalo, Feb. 14. Dear Sir: I am only too proud of the chance to help with this the only Valentine I venture to write this day -- for although I am twain in my own person I am only half a person in my matrimonial form, and sometimes my wife shows that she is so much better and nobler than I am, that I seriously question if I am really any more than about a quarter!" - Letter

...and speaking of unusual people, Sid Caesar will be missed.  As will Shirley Temple Black. R.I.P.  Pink e-rose goes out to +George Strayline , a guy who's likely to recognize some of this here, ha. Here's to your speedy recovery, buddy.



THURSDAY PM UPDATE: Yet another piece in the PEGASYS saga falls into place, and there was a bonus included.  As before, it's premature to say what happened, but, as before, I am commencing to be insufferably smug and a half for the rest of the day. WOOOOOT!!!



SATURDAY UPDATE: I just *had* to cross-post this from Facebook, now making the rounds, and it's *so* true....mostly........


One more piece of news, rather sad news at that: on Valentine's day, Jim Henson's son suffered a massive heart attack at the ripe old age of 48.  R.I.P. John Henson.





SUNDAY UPDATE: George has a date with a surgeon 5am next day and all his friends wish him the best, including his friends on the Radio Time Capsule...which brought to mind a rather antique but interesting take on an old standard, "Clementine"--when Bing Crosby does it, that is...should have thought of adding this one on the 14th...


April 8 UPDATE: Just because this is a Valentine's theme post for February, that doesn't mean that George Takei can't come up with something theme-appropriate in April. Lest we forget, we revisit affairs amorous when June rolls around for the weddings.  Thank you, George, for the e-card for Facebook circulation:



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